There are so many stereotypes of adopted kids, and statistics are unfortunately often in favor of these stereotypes. As adoptive parents, we are doing our very best to beat this. We want the absolute most for our kids, and more than anything, we want them to grow up to be normal, contributing members of society.
So what does this take? There is no rule book, and as we all know too well, every kid is different. But, across the board, there are a few tips and pieces of advice that almost every adopted kid and seasoned adoptive parent swear by. Today, we are chatting with three adults who were adopted at varying ages and through various systems who grew up to be successful adults who have learned to deeply appreciate their stories.
In addition to being adopted privately as a baby, Kathleen Barnes also grew up to be an adoptive mom herself. She and her daughter, Kennedy were even on the show back in season 1! She has seen firsthand the difference in adopted kids' stories depending on their decisions and on who they surround themselves with. I love her advice to both sides of this as someone who has lived in both worlds.
Lia Barksey was adopted from Russia when she was 8 months old. Her mother, Carole talked to us back in season 1 about the importance of your story as an adoptive mom and the importance of mentoring and discipleship in this world of adoption. Lia has always appreciated her story and has such an important message for those who are at a fork in the road of learning and deciding who they are: The identity crisis doesn't have to be a part of your story.
JP Bubbus was adopted privately and by choice at the age of 16 after enduring years of horrible abuse and self-reporting. He moved in with a familiar family who eventually adopted him, but his story didn't end there. He has so much wisdom to share with parents taking in teens and also teens being adopted who might be bitter and afraid for their futures.
- Those Three Words: A Birth Mother's Story of Choice, Chance, and Motherhood is out now! It is such an amazing book and you definitely need to grab yourself a copy over on Amazon!
- Grace Haven Ministries offers support and services for adoptive families in the trenches. I can say this from personal experience. We were at the end of our rope with this business and Grace Haven's director of counseling services was at our house within an hour... FO FREE. She talked us off the ledge and provided us with some great resources for moving forward. Seriously, reach out to them with your concerns and struggles TODAY. Visit their website here and their Facebook page here.
- Project Zero puts the real live faces of children who are available for adoption in front of the families looking to provide forever homes for them. They travel around the state promoting their dream of having Zero waiting children in Arkansas. You can check out their website here and their Facebook here.
- The CALL trains, equips, and supports foster and adoptive families. You heard from the director in NWA, Ann in the first episode of this podcast. They are great and you should check them out. They have no-commitment info-meeting regularly if you just want to gather more information about adopting from the foster care system, and they provide the complete training you need to become an open home. Check out their website here and their Facebook page here.