AMP S5E64: When Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Adopt - Heather MacFadyen

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Once upon a time, Alex Fittin was just a regular adoptive mom beating her head against the wall and assuming that she must be the only one struggling *this much* with adoption. She had also been thrown into motherhood gaining 4 children in less than a year and a half. She started listening to a podcast called The God-Centered Mom with host Heather McFadyan. Now, Heather was bringing forward amazing content on motherhood, but Alex felt like there was something missing. Alex was inspired by Heather’s efforts and decided to start her own podcast for adoptive moms, remaining a loyal fan to The God-Centered Mom (now called Don’t Mom Alone) as well.

Ok sorry if that was annoying, but I’m being for real. It is because of Don’t Mom Alone that AMP exists. I am forever grateful to Heather for that, and it was an incredible honor to have her on the show to kick off Season F I V E. (just, whaaaaaaaat.)

I was even more like “God you are so cool” when I found out that Heather has a very real and close connection to adoption. She is the mama that some of you ask me constantly to talk about. The one who wanted to adopt, but never did because her husband wasn’t on board. Let me tell you why I haven’t done this topic yet: Because there are so many possible outcomes to this storyline. Sometimes the doubting spouse comes around, sometimes it takes years before we agree on something this serious in marriage, but it happens...eventually. And sometimes, like in Heather’s case, it never does. How could I represent all of those emotions when a. I didn’t experience them And b. there’s the potential for a false narrative where someone comes around eventually.

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Let me back up and tell you more about Heather McFadyan. Heather has been married since the turn of the century (which she says sounds more impressive than it is). She is the mother of four young boys (born exactly, to the day, within 6 1/2 years . . . just like she’d always planned).  She hosts “The Don't Mom Alone Podcast” weekly interviewing fellow journeyers on the topic of motherhood. Her heart is for moms to know God's great delight over them; how He sees the unseen eternal work they do every day. And through mentorship, friendship & discipleship to remind gals that they “Don’t Mom Alone”. 

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Heather and I got to chat about her family connections with adoption and then her personal story of trusting God and letting go of a desire to adopt when it wasn’t what her husband wanted. She beautifully paints a picture for us of the sadness that comes with a broken dream and the relentless love of Christ to walk us through pain. 

Another topic I was so excited to cover with her was the ministry of podcasting motherhood and being transparent and genuine in our lives in order to help others. I always love getting to talk to other women living their lives in front of people not for attention, but as a ministry. When I get too wrapped up in follower count and social media engagement, it’s women like Heather who can tether me to the earth and remind me that it’s all for the glory of God and least of all for my own glory. 

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I want to welcome you guys to the fifth season of The Adoptive Mom Podcast and give you the sincerest THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for the support, encouragement, and partnership that you guys have gifted to me these past two years. I can’t wait for you guys to see what we have in store for this season and I’m thrilled to death that I get to take you along for the ride!

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Bryan Fittin